Week 2 Action

Well, week 1 is in the books and the husband and wife team of the Mulligans appear to be the class of the field. Not to be outdone, the Digger family also pulled off double wins. The only other winner in week 1 was the future Mrs. Crook.

The other 5 players weren't the biggest losers in the field. That distinction belongs to the proposed trade between Mr. Mulligan and Monsieur Carr.

Heath Miller for Ray Rice? I've seen crackheads try to pull off fairer trades than that.

Nice try, and good job to those who had enough sense to veto that trade.

It feels pretty drafty in here.

We finally (ahem Chuck ahem) held our league draft Tuesday Night. The first pick this year went to Judy, and she steered clear of the Ravens Defense, unlike the holder of last year's first pick, Hansen.

I didn't realize it at the time, but Hansen took Joe Flacco in the first round. That is some serious school pride. I hope he doesn't need rotator cuff surgery any time soon. (Reverse Jinx)



Round 1
1.
Chris Johnson (Ten - RB)
Pink Flamingos
2.
Adrian Peterson (Min - RB)
Bernanke Bashers
3.
Drew Brees (NO - QB)
B-Vers
4.
Maurice Jones-Drew (Jac - RB)
Start and Parkers
5.
Michael Turner (Atl - RB)
B-verettes
6.
Ray Rice (Bal - RB)
Ashley Schaffer BMW
7.
Joe Flacco (Bal - QB)
Hansen Factor
8.
Frank Gore (SF - RB)
Curlynutz
9.
Shonn Greene (NYJ - RB)
Cobb County's Finest
10.
Andre Johnson (Hou - WR)
Bradford's Swagga


So, it was a pretty ho-hum first round. An hour later, somewhere during Round 16, things started to get a little crazy. Here's how that round played out:


Round 16
1.
Adam Vinatieri (Ind - K)
Bradford's Swagga
2.
Austin Collie (Ind - WR)
Cobb County's Finest
3.
Tennessee (Ten - DEF)
Curlynutz
4.
Sam Bradford (StL - QB)
Hansen Factor
5.
Plaxico Burress (NYG - WR)
Ashley Schaffer BMW
6.
Arizona (Ari - DEF)
B-verettes
7.
Michael Vick (Phi - QB)
Start and Parkers
8.
Legedu Naanee (SD - WR)
B-Vers
9.
Carnell Williams (TB - RB)
Bernanke Bashers
10.
Devin Aromashodu (Chi - WR)
Pink Flamingos


For the second straight year, Chuck picked an incarcerated Plaxico Burress. That has to be a record. Hansen picked a player for whom her husband's team is named after. Mulligan picked PETA spokesman Michael Vick (again, right?) and I competed with Judy in the contest to pick most Sub-Saharan Africa sounding name. Good fun.

We're getting the league back together!

The Sweetest Temptation Fantasy Football League returns for a 7th Season. Most of the major players are back, including defending champion, Hansen "Hansen" Diggs. We'll see how she fairs this year as she competes without being married to the commissioner. Speaking of commissioners, apparently it was my turn this year.
Frankly, I only made a minor tweak or two from last year's settings. One thing that will be noticeable is that I increased the honesty and integrity levels.

So far, the league is looking very feminine as the future Mrs. Crook joins her fiance. Rumor has it, they will be running for best songwriting duo at the next CMA awards.

I hope all of the players get signed up and prepare for Wednesday Nights draft. The action starts at 7:45 sharp. Hansen should get that pesky Ravens defense off the board by 7:46.

Long Overdue Bristol Motor Speedway Results

Diggs 78 points
Kyle 60 points (Win, Most laps lead, Sweep)
Kurt 15 points (Top 10)
JPM 15 points (Top 10)
Allmendinger -12 points (12 laps down)

Digger's team leads the league in jerks.


Brent 57 points
Kahne 25 points (Top 5, wary of blood clots, Kahne is checking in with his medical team before drinking gallons and gallons of Red Bull next year)
Martin 3 points (Lap lead, 2 laps down, thankful he doesn't have to drive the Red Bull Car next year)
Burton -1 points (1 lap down)
McMurray 30 points (Top 5, Lap lead)



Chuck 59 points
Biffle 15 points (Top 10, 1 bug eyed dummy)
Kenseth 15 points (Top 10)
Lagano -1 points (1 lap down, 3 years until puberty)
Bowyer 30 points (Top 5, Lap lead)

Crook -20 points
Stewart 1 point (Lap lead, 4 laps down, 9 whole fried chickens)
Hamlin -20 points (More than 20 laps down, punishment is 2 extra hours of speech therapy for that lisp)
Edwards 0 points
Truex -1 points (1 lap down)

Mulligan -1 points
Johnson -20 points (More than 20 laps down)
Jeff G 5 points (Lap lead, son that proves he's made love to a woman more than once)
Newman 15 points (Top 10)
Ambrose -1 points (1 lap down, 13 shrimps, 1 Barbie)

Janet 28 points
Earnhardt, Jr. 0 points, 0 class
Harvick -1 points (1 lap down)
Sorensom -1 points (1 lap down)
Ruettimann 30 points (Top 5, Lap lead)

Watkins Glen Results

What hometrack advantage? Well, I sure stunk it up, not quite as bad as Janet, Chuck, and Crook. But Digger had an outstanding day. Not only did he get the win, he moved up the rankings like rocket powered elevator.

Diggs 125 points
Kyle 15 points (Top 10)
Kurt 25 points (Top 5)
JPM 60 points (Win, Most laps lead)
Dinger 25 points (Top 5)

Brent 15 points
Kahne 0 points
Speed -20 points (DNF)
Burton 15 points (Top 10)
McMurray 20 points (Top 10, Lap lead)

Chuck -3 points
Biffle 0 points
Kenseth 0 points
Lagano -2 points (2 laps down)
Bowyer -1 points (1 lap down)

Crook 0 points
Stewart 15 points (Top 10)
Hamlin -20 points (DNF)
Edwards 25 points (Top 5)
Robby -20 points (DNF)

Mulligan 50 points
Johnson 0 points
Jeff G 15 points (Top 10)
Newman 5 points (Lap lead)
Ambrose 30 points (Top 5, Lap lead)

Janet -20 points
Junior 0 points
Harvick 0 points
Said -20 points (DNF)
Ruetimann 0 points

Honeymoon Capital of the World results

In the land where I spent a memorable bachelor party weekend, there was a wet, wild, and wacky race. Wet, wild, and wacky? Sounds just like my bachelor party.

Here are the results:

Diggs -15 points
Kyle 0 points
Kurt -20 points (DNF)
JPM 5 points (Lap lead)
Allmendinger 0 points

Brent 30 points
Kahne 0 points
Martin 15 points (Top 10)
Burton 15 points (Top 10)
McMurray 0 points

Chuck 55 points
Biffle 55 points (WIN, Lap lead)
Kenseth 0 points
Lagano 0 points
Bowyer 0 points

Crook 105 points
Stewart 30 points (Top 5, Lap lead)
Hamlin 30 points (Top 5, Lap lead)
Edwards 30 points (Top 5, Lap lead)
Truex 15 points (Top 10)

Mulligan 25 points
Johnson 25 points (Top 10, Most laps lead)
Jeff G 20 points (Top 10)
Newman 0 points
Ambrose -20 points (DNF)

Janet 4 points
Earnhardt-1 points (1 lap down)
Harvick 25 points (Top 5)
Sorensom -20 points (DNF)
Ruetimann 0 points

Indianapolis Motor Speedway Race Results

Diggs 20 points
Kyle 15 points (Top 10)
Kurt 15 points (Top 10)
JPM -10 points (Most laps lead, DNF)
Allmendinger 0 points

Brent 75 points
Kahne 0 points
Martin 5 points (Lap lead)
Burton 15 points (Top 10)
McMurray 55 points (Win, Lap lead)

Chuck 70 points
Biffle 30 points (Top 5, Lap lead)
Kenseth 0 points
Lagano 15 points (Top 10)
Bowyer 25 points (Top 5)

Crook 44 points
Stewart 25 points (Top 5)
Hamlin 0 points
Edwards 20 points (Top 10, Lap lead)
Truex -1 points (1 lap down)

Mulligan 5 points
Johnson 5 points (Lap lead)
Jeff G 0 points
Newman 0 points
Ambrose 0 points

Janet 5 points
Dale Earnhardt, Jr. -2 points (2 laps down) *Let the record show that I, in no way, support the calling of Dale Earnhardt's son, "Junior". For one thing, the name "Junior" in NASCAR racing is already taken. For numbers 2 through 100, he's not even the best driver with a Jr. suffix in NASCAR, let alone the rest of auto racing. Move over, Snooki. This guy is fighting you for title of "Most famous for no damned good reason".
Harvick 30 points (Top 5, Lap lead)
Sorensom -20 points (DNF)
Ruetimann -3 points (3 laps down)